Things often don't go as well as we planned it to be and we put the blame on others, on things and events that occur but we don't blame ourselves. Just because we often see ourselves as the victims of bad things that happens. The thing is we don't think that we could be the one who has caused things to go wrong or at least we are the start of why things don't go well.
I have been thinking for weeks now of why certain things I thought was right and perfect for me had gone away and left me with no chance of having it back. I begin blaming it on other things and other people's actions but it kept going on and on, there wasn't a final solution, it just never resolved, no conclusion, it didn't seem right. I then start looking from a different perspective, thinking maybe I was the problem. In fact, I started thinking that maybe I'm not actually ready or prepared for these things in life when I thought I was. I was right. I needed to change myself instead of changing what I thought was someone else's fault. I shouldn't be thinking of trying to change the past (eg. what if he/she would've think the other way, this wouldn't have happened) but to change my perspective of the present and my actions and how I could improve myself to be a better person. The solution is more of getting myself to see what I can do now to help make things go as well as I planned it to be. It is definitely true when people say that change has to start from yourself. I have to change myself, my perspective of things, not others or how I expect them to do things or how I want things to go my way, but to be the best person I can be and letting things happen by itself. To control myself while letting things have its own control. That way, I would know that I've done my best and that I've done all I can to be what I was called to be.
It feels like I had to do it for myself and letting myself grow instead of expecting others to be the cause of my failure. When I let myself grow and be the best I can be, it would make it better when people are part of my life rather than me always depending on others. Maybe this way, I will finally be ready and prepared for the things that I think is perfect and right for me.