People just want to hear what they wanna hear. They tend to push your limits just so you would say what they want to hear. But most of the time, we say the things we want to say and the things we actually think/feel rather than what others want to hear.
The thing is when people push your limits and test your patience, it's not going to be pretty. This is when understanding and assessing the value of others is meant to come in the picture. Conflicts and arguments will never resolve if you don't perform these actions. When there's a chance, you make it right.
Some people tend to only do things for their own benefit, they don't care about the people around them. They constantly hurt you without knowing it but you forgive every single time because you care about them and you would only treat them the way you want to be treated and you know you're meant to love those who hurt you. Soon you'd realise how they're taking advantage of you. They deny that they are, they say they don't mean to but continue doing it anyways thinking it's totally fine (because they're supposedly "unaware" of it). It is a fact that when someone says they're not taking advantage of you doesn't mean they really aren't. Same thing as saying you're not breathing when you actually are, doesn't mean you really aren't breathing. People can say what they want to say but isn't necessarily true. Words are just words. On the other hand, they might not know they're taking advantage of you but you know it because you yourself feel it and it hurts. The thing is, you've told them countless times how you felt but in the end, all they do is come up with excuses pleading for your understanding when in the first place they don't even understand you or at least they don't try to. In fact, all they understand is what they want for themselves.
It's a war between what you want and what others want with only one party trying to resolve it.
But in the end, who's the winner? Not like winning matters but who is right? I don't know but I'm trying to see things from both perspective. What if I'm not being understanding enough? What if I'm the one who is selfish and too hard on the others? Seriously, I've tried my best and I know I've done all I could. I've reached my limits while the others are just sitting there knowing that every time something happens, I will forgive them and let them step on me. Every time I give in, they'd keep pushing me closer to the edge. Is it wrong for me to say that I'm the victim here and that I've done enough? Am I enough for others? Is this unfair for me or am I being the one that makes things hard? Am I being hard on myself or others being hard on me? I don't know whether I'm the bad guy here, when I know I'm almost off the edge.
This is why I'm constantly thinking whether I'm good enough, whether I've done my best as a person because people just can't stop pushing me towards the edge. This why I worry all the time about whether I'm good enough. I don't seek for the approval of society of my appearance being good enough but I seek for the approval of being a good enough friend. Is that so hard?
I really don't know whether I'm blessing the ones who hurt me and mistreat me the right way.
From deep down my heart I know that God is the one who keeps me alive, keeps my day going and never fails me. He is the one who makes me look at things on the brighter side. His word, His wisdom and His love is the greatest thing I could ever have.