Would you agree that an untrue statement would seem true after a while? Do you think that other people's mindset could change yours if you're constantly reminded of that particular statement that you yourself know is not true, something about yourself that others constantly tell you? At some point in life, someone's going to tell you untrue things that will bring you down, untrue statements about you that will hurt you because they want to be more superior. You know sometimes even though you know they are just joking and you would like to play along, but these things get to you.
Throughout the seventeen years of my life, people have said things to me that they shouldn't have said. Things that I know that are untrue. They are things that I am constantly reminded of. Things that actually hurts even though it's untrue. As much as I know these are untrue but after some time, you feel like you've been attacked again and again, changing the way you think about yourself. These things make me feel so weak. I definitely do not like feeling like this but I can't help feeling like this. It gets to me so hard and I just feel horrible about myself and I start to think the way others think of me. I will soon be someone I'm not but instead someone who is created and shaped by what others think and what others want me to be. People are going to tell you who you are and what you should be and they don't care about how you feel if they constantly remind you of something untrue. They just continue to hurt you because they think you're totally fine with it.
I am still hurt. I don't really know who I am. It's a fight between who I really am and what others want me to be. But I guess not everyone knows who they really are.
I'm going to try to stand firm of who I am. Someone that God has called me to be. I'm not going to let people push me wherever they want me to go but I'm going to stand solid for what God has planned for me. It isn't easy for me. I get pushed around really easily and I am weak. But I am still here, I find strength in God and I know I can depend on Him. He never leaves me.
I should focus on what God thinks and says about me than focus of what others think and say about me.
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Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
-Proverbs 31:30
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.
-Psalm 18:32-36