I don't know where to start. It was like watching my life crash and burn right in front of me. Everything's a mess and this is me picking broken pieces up.

All the words that you said to me seemed so vague and confusing. Felt like it was just a nightmare that I could wake up from and think that everything was where it was, everything is normal and that I wouldn't have to make up what these words meant. Instead, I force myself to believe that this is reality, this is life and I can't just keep living in the dream that you and I built. It was no longer a dream when you told me you don't look at me the same way you once did. The security that you gave me is now violated, leaving me feeling bare and exposed.

I have to wake up everyday and tell myself that I have to be on my own now and built dreams on my own. It's not going to be "us", it's just "me" now. I'm not the one you want to spend your time with. The many things you've said to me seems like lies now. The trust is now broken and where can love go now. I have no idea how to describe brokenness.

Everyday I wake up thinking that I am no longer someone special to you. There is no one I can truly share my feelings and dreams with. How can so much love, caring and time invested be so normal to you? How am I the one whom someone loves less? I can't understand how can something like love fade so easily and quickly. How can someone who meant everything to you become just normal and built fear of commitment. Everyday, it doesn't seem to get easier. I fight my nature, forcing myself to care less about you and love you less.

God really taught me to love that not one second I didn't love you when we were together.